Gareth Bezett

I don't know why, but lately the messages about sex that the Church inflict on our youth have been getting up my nose. I have a few thoughts that I offer not as a complete position on sex but as some sort of counterbalance to the prevailing climate.

Sexual Sin is Not in It's Own Category
There is no scriptural support for the notion that sexual sin is somehow different and needs to be approached in a special manner. I contend that sexual sins stem from the same root as most others: trying to run our own lives. God has never put on my heart a desire to engage in sexual activity with someone who isn't my wife (if he does, I hope it's Keira Knightley). So, if I was to go out and commit some sort of sexual sin, I would be putting my own desires ahead of God's.

Now, I can hear some of you saying "but society puts such an emphasis on sex that we have to address it directly". I disagree. Western culture puts a high value on fulfilling our desires. It tells us that if we have some sort of problem, then we can consume something to make us better. If we are feeling down, a bit of retail therapy will improve our mood. Society treats sex as just another thing to be consumed.

As the Church, we need to address society's ills, but to over emphasise sex is not justified.

Sexual Sins within Marriage
Paul and Paula have been dating for 2 years. They both have agreed to wait until they are married, however, one night they have sex.

Christopher and Christine have been married for 2 years. One night, Christopher goes to a strip club with some mates from work. When he gets home, he and Christine have sex. Christopher is visualising the strippers and not giving any thought to Christine's fulfillment.

Who's sinning worse than whom? Not every sexual act withing a marriage is without sin.

Marriage is Not Going to Fix Your Sexual Sin
If you have a problem with pornography, getting married will not fix it. If you think that you are gay, marrying a woman will not change it.

Marriage is not the answer to your sexual problems. Marriage provides God's vehicle for good, life-long sex (and some other stuff) but it is not a sin-free zone.

Use Your Brain
It may just be me, but the idea that an act can be a sin 12 hours before a ceremony and the same act not be a sin 12 hours after a ceremony seems a little silly. However if, based on the weight of scripture and historical Church teaching on sex, you think that to have sex outside of marriage is counter to God's will then don't do it.

Please Don't Let Chasity be Your Entire Witness
There was a girl at my high school who was a Christian. She didn't have sex (I didn't either, but not by choice). I don't remember a single thing about her faith other than abstinence from sex. She wasn't nicer than average, nor did she stand out in any other way. Her entire witness to me in 5 years of school together was not having sex.

Please let your Christian walk speak more about God than just that he frowns on sex.

Thank you
I feel better having got that off my chest.